google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
