I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize