Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
