Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
