We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
