I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
D3 body, D1 cock
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
