No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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