another moral hangover. fuck.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
