Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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