I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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