its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Randomize
