this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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