Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
