i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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