we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
