I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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