He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
