So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Come on in and take your pants off
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