You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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