why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
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