PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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