We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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