I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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