the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
