One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
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Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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