My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
