The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
