i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
