whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if only i could text you this smell
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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