Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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