This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i may or may not be watching the land before time
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize