Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
