Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
