And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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