You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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