i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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