There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
