Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
