Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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