I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
