I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
