Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
