i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
