It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize