I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
