just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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