Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
