Umm I'm too high to move.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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