I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
