carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
