We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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