Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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