So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
