You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Less talking, more tequila
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
