I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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