dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
