Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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