Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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