She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
