He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize